Deciding to restart fertility treatments

Photo by Einar Storsul on Unsplash

So if you’ve been following along on this wild and lengthy journey of mine, you’ll have noticed in my last post that I was in a relationship for a few months and paused my fertility plans because of it. Well wouldn’t you know it, that relationship ended very unexpectedly (urgh men, am I right?) and I found myself once again single and confused over what to do next.  

When you’ve been out of the game for a few months, it’s kind of hard to jump right back in. Part of me wondering if I should try dating again since I’d recently found such a great partner and part of me thought I needed to dive back in to make up for lost time. What’s a girl to do?  

I opted for both, lol. I hadn’t been impressed with my last clinic so I decided to switch to a well-known downtown clinic instead. Of course, there’s always a waiting game to see a doctor so I figured I had some time to keep dating. As many women on the dating apps know, dating this way can take a lot of effort as well. I met a number of decent guys and had a bunch of fun dates, but no one that I was very excited about long term. So when a fertility appointment opened up at my new clinic, I decided to go for it.  

My new doctor redid some of my tests and told me that because of my results and my age (I’d turned 35 during my relationship, the dreaded age for fertility changes) she didn’t recommend going back to IUI but thought I needed to move up to IVF. 

In Ontario, the government will fund 1 round of IVF for women under 40. Pretty cool, huh? Usually you need to put yourself on a waitlist for a funded round that could take anywhere to a few months to over a year but my doctor had some available in two months' time.  

So then I had a big decision to make. Keep trying with IUI with odds of about 5-10% chance of success or move up to needles and medication and big dollar signs for a success rate of nearly 3 times higher.  

Now honestly, I’m not sure I made the right decision here and if I had to do it over, I might have asked for a medicated IUI round first which I never tried. However, I was swayed by promises of a cheaper IVF experience and what really sold me was the idea of harvesting multiple embryos to freeze in case I wanted more children later.  

For better or worse, I signed up for IVF.  

So here are my tips on what to consider when restarting fertility treatments and some questions to ask yourself first that I wish I had done: 

1. What are your options?  

Do you need to find a new doctor or are you going back to your original clinic? If you’re switching, keep in mind it can take time to make it through the waitlist and get an appointment. If you’re going to switch, I recommend getting your name on some lists pronto even if you’re still debating restarting. It's better to have an appointment and not need it than to panic and not have one.  

2. Are you returning to your original plan?  

Depending on how long your break was, things might have changed that will impact the fertility plan you already created. It could be worthwhile to ask your doctor to rerun some tests to see if you’re still on the same track you were or if you need increased intervention methods.  

3. Do your research. 

If the nice lady in the white coat offers you candy, don’t immediate jump at it. Go home and research your options. Maybe even get a second opinion. If you’re looking at IVF, it’s a huge commitment both in terms of money and what you’ll put your body through. You want to make sure you’re making an informed decision before you move forward.  

4. Talk it out with your support system.  

Are you really ready to restart or do you need more time? I paused because of a relationship, but often women on this path take a break because their bodies, or hearts, need a breather. It’s a tricky thing to balance your ticking clock with the realities of what this process does to your body and mind. Remember, stress doesn’t help conception. It might be worth a longer pause to come back in the right frame of mind to move forward.  

5. Think about timing.

You also need to be ready if restarting your treatments leads to a pregnancy. Are you still in a position where that’s a viable option or are you not? For me, I’d changed jobs since my last IUI round and was now in a much more stressful, time-consuming role. I was also on the fence about dating or recommitting to my solo plan. I actually ended up dating during some of my IVF treatments and let me tell you that required some mental gymnastics as well.  

The bottom line is you need to be ready, mentally and physically, to go back to fertility treatments. Everyone’s time line is different and there’s no one size fits all answer. Do what’s best for you and go from there.